Fact : Eating healthy is not as easy as "they" say it is.

                The general consensus of healthy, thin, wealthy, people seems to be that all “FAT” Americans, spend their days and nights on the couch. The gluttons of society. Scarfing down egg mcmuffins, nuggets, sodas, fries, burgers, candy bars and cakes. I have heard it a million and seven times ” If you want to be healthy all you have to do is eat right and exercise- So SIMPLE”  with a shameful head shake as the eye rolls to your fat frame.Just the look on their face tells the story of what they think of you. Everyone knows the way fat people are judged. I wont lie, I think it too. When I see an extremly big person I start to think "Man, I am so thin compared to them they must live at the donut shop!" WOW, its true I am no better than anybody else. But I get it too, “Just eat fresh this and fresh that, snack on nuts and twigs, cut out red meats and eat more fresh fish and whole grains” It’s not that hard, like ‘why do they make it seem soo difficult, Im so sure. (in my best valley girl speak)?! RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT……I will give them this, Exercise is free as is water. Those are 2 things I can afford. The rest, not so much.
        For years I have been saying that many people in our country are fat not just because of Fast food joints but because the food that makes you fattest is the cheapest. Top Ramen, Macaroni, pastas, Sugar, Bleached Flour, Margarine, ham hocks, Chicken Thighs, processed boxed and frozen foods. Obviously portion control goes very far in this as well, but lets be real.

              Far too often the public overlooks the prices at the local grocery store. I myself have 6 people to feed, occasionally 7. I use coupons, a lot of coupons. They are a huge help (shout out to my friend Margie the coupon queen that always helps me out) Other than meat and produce, many things I buy are free or less than a dollar because of coupons and I am sooo thankful for that. I generally save 50% on my entire bill. However, most of it is processed food. If you take a good look you will notice that most of the processed food is the cheapest. Would I like to buy fresh broccoli at $1.79 lb (2lbs) with fresh Tilapia for my family at $7.99lb (2lbs)  & 2 boxes whole grain macaroni $1.79box – Total $23.98. Of course, we love a meal like this! Is that realistic on my budget? NO. What do we get instead? 2 bags of Value broccoli cuts from the freezer section $.99 , 2 boxes of Macaroni $.99 box (.50 after coupons), and bag of Fish Sticks $6.99 bag (5.99 after coupon) – Total = $8.97. Do I WANT to feed my family processed food? NO. Do I have much choice on a day to day? NO. Of course, every once in a while we splurge like anyone else. And, we definitely go out for fast food as well. We are not deprived, but we must make ends meet, so, after the bills are paid we buy food with what remains. Pretty sure this is how most struggling families do it. I make a good living but realistically not enough for 6 people to “Eat Healthy”. After bills I have about $500 to shop on for a month- that breaks down to $125 a week, about $3 a day per person. It seems so unrealistic!!! It is ! And if I’m telling you the truth , I spend only about $160 every two weeks thanks to coupons, if I go over I feel terrible - because if something unexpected comes up we need to dip into the fund. We have no credit cards or car payments this is just necessity bills – except cable about $45 a month and other about $100 month. I am not looking for pity just showing a sample of  reality, It is what it is.

   I’m glad to see someone is finally taking notice of this problem and hopefully in the years to come it will get easier for families like mine to eat healthier. So Thank you Michelle Obama, I’m excited for some change at the supermarket.

Fact: I suck at sending cards on time.

ALAS, a GENIUS tool I have found !!!

Hallmark will stamp and mail cards for me? WHAT ! You heard right. These sly bastards have figured it out ! Finally I can go online and for under $4 send my Gram or Mom a thank you card. Now, they will most certainly miss the hand writing but I am prepared to hear about that. However, they will not be able to come down on me for missing a thank you ever again !! This is so sweet, sure $4 may seem a bit much but really i NEVER have stinkin stamps, ever. I pay bills online, send emails, etc. Its just not that often in this day and age that one gets to the actual post office. I can buy stamps at the grocery store of course, but I always forget , so the damn card I bought sits, and sits, and sits, until a month later when I get the dreaded phone call. Them thinking I am ungrateful and unthoughtful, NOT ANYMORE !! I thank you Hallmark for making life a tad easier, this should put me on time for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, shoot maybe I will even send "thinking of you cards" ! This is one thing I can mark off my plans to be better at doing, I am so excited. The possibities are endless. Now, if Hallmark could help me get to work on time.... Then the world would be my oyster. One thing at a time I suppose.

THANKS HALLMARK, YOU OLD SO AND SO !! WOOT WOOT !!

Fact: I am Vitamin D..flated

              Its funny how each everything works together to make things run smoothly, even in our bodies. Up to now I have been a healthy chick with a few big flaws here and there but nothing life threatening thankfully. Biggest pains in my life: My back and my "head". I had surgery on my back some 6 years ago. Only in my twenties at the time, the doctor attributed my ruptured and bulging discs to my fat a$$-SERIOUSLY. He said my butt was far too big and I should lose weight. Thanks for putting it nicely Doc. But hey, he was a straight shooter and I can’t fault him for that since I dig honesty. AND, he was right. I have been overweight since my daughter Kysa was about 2 years old.
                 Sometime after her first birthday is where the “head” problems kicked in. I wish someone would have told me it was normal, possibly postpartum and nothing to be so scared of, but it nearly wrecked me.
I was scared to death! I had always had some degree of anxiety when driving far from home or around people I don’t know but this was debilitating to say the least. I was driving myself to work as usual one morning and the scariest thought krept into my head, “what if I swerve and crash into the railing right now” it wasn’t just a thought but almost a reaction. I can’t really describe it,  it threw me for a complete loop. Instantly I went into a fit of panic stricken, crying, crazed anxiety. I remembered back instantly to the time my Father was driving my 2 sisters and I to New Mexico to see family. If I remember correctly, it was the day Bo and Hope were getting married on Days of our Lives and my sisters were really sad they couldn’t see it.
I was only about 8. Somewhere near the AZ border my Dad pulled over at a gas station, got out of the van and called his wife, he then proceeded to break down in the exact crying fit I was in right then. We drove back to Phoenix and boarded a plane to New Mexico the next day instead.

Was this happening because of that? Was I predestined? I missed a $hit ton of work the next few weeks as I went to a series of doctors who shoved xanax at me but no real reason as to why this happened or to tell me it was okay and I was normal. No, that took years of exploring to find out, At the time I felt like I was going crazy-straight crazy, like a cartoon where springs and bolts would fly out of my head, I thought I would just lose it. I was to scared to leave my house and to scared to be alone. Even scared I would hurt my baby, which was the worst; my babies are my life how could I feel this way? I feared myself. I had to have someone sit with me while my husband went to work. It was so awful. To this day I take medicine so I will NEVER EVER have to feel that way again. (In fact, I often fear the medicine will quit working and the attacks will come back) I am, as noted, an over thinker, a serious worrier and now a panic attacker. Now that I know what my deal is though, I have taken it on, I can control it rather than the other way around and I can share my story with others who feel the same way. I see the stigma in some people eyes towards mental health and I think it is sad. If we embraced it and reached out to say its okay your not alone, more people would probably get the help they need and be able to function rather than turning to drugs and alcohol, but that talk is for another time. THE POINT was... my meds made me better in turn making me FAT. I was told tby the Dr. why: SSR's affect the brain and tone down emotional responses. Not all the way but it does numb you to a point and I can tell it’s true, not crying at sad movies or life events, not being crazy murderously angry when you find out horrible news like your husband having an affair, eh hem...also for another time. It also then numbs the center telling you not to eat this or that because since everythings okay, eat up fatty. LOL It’s not that bad but you see where I’m going.

In this anxiety/depressive world of mine I find winter drags me down seriously low. I am tired, tired, tired. I have always blamed work, kids, & life, for making me so tired. Lets face it with 4 kids (even with 2 before the twins) life is hectic working & momming full time. I can not exercise or find any “me time”. When I do get “me time” I wish to sleep thank you very much. This winter I decided to do something about it and see my doctor. She sent in some labs after hearing my story and I got the results Saturday. I have a
Vitamin D deficiency.
              WHAT!?! I live in the land of SUN how can this be? My level is 14 it should be 80 !!! She puts me on treatment and tells me to get my butt outside! This is what has made me so tired probably all these years and no one ever bothered checking. This can lead to anxiety, depression, weight gain, chronic fatigue, lower back pain and a laundry list of more things !! I am flabbergasted at the find, also very hopeful. This obviously is not a cure all but a big huge step in the right direction. In the summer I am outside a lot with my kids and what not, I always feel great and tend to lose a little weight, along with just being more active this is why! DUH ! How could I not have known? Well, I am very glad I now know and I will be sure to keep taking a multi vitamin, definitely fighting my urge to sleep and instead getting outside with my kids. Thanks Dr. Paar !!

When "Thank You" is just not enough

In my book the word "Thank You" has worn out its welcome.

Having a Baby Shower this weekend gives me A LOT of people to thank. I am so extremely grateful to the friends who are throwing me the shower that I think they deserve more of a Thank You than I can give them as they have really gone above and beyond.

At work (some jobs) you get a bigger pay increase or special incentives for doing more than you are expected to do, so the same should be true when Thanking someone. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY thankful for all those who are bringing gifts and taking time out of their day to come to the shower. But, many situations in life require different levels of gratitude (other situations require different levels of attitude but that's another Blog in itself )

So I thought maybe something like a Thank you in a glass box that you only break for SEVERE Thanks, then these ladies would deserve my Glass box Thank you. Then I thought, NO-that wont work, because what if tomorrow one of them saves my life and I have already given her the "Glass Box Thank You"? Wouldnt the Life saving Thank You need to be a much Bigger one?

She would know Ive already given the highest I can give so this one would feel a bit like a slap in the face after pulling me from the death grip of an icy pond right? Its like the Old Lady who swallowed the fly and kept swallowing other things in a ravenous cycle until she finally croaked didnt she? I cant remember. My point is, we need a better Thank You system. So my new idea is this, something similar to the countries "Terrorist Attack Threat Level" for all Thank you's should be implemented world wide.

SEVERE for those life saving moments.

HIGH for serious gratitude.

ELEVATED for genuine heartfelt thanks.

GUARDED for a standard issue thanks.

LOW for something like the guy at the gas station who holds the door.

You see where Im going with this? Now I just need to figure out how to get it working on a national level. Wish me luck !!

And A HIGH Thanks to Susie,Koren, and Bre ---- You guys rock !!!