Fact: Today is Fat Tuesday !!!

Every year for the past 6 or so years I have been participating in my own version of Lent. I was raised as a Lutheran. I was young when we stopped going so I dont much remember anyone participating if they did. but I genuinely LOVE the idea of giving up/taking on something to honor what I believe Jesus did for me.
DISCLAIMER: The reason I added the "I believe" should be self explanatory, but for some who like to argue that is not always the case.  Basically I belive the Christian principle of John 3:16, that God gave his only begotten Son for those who believe to live eternal life. I'd be happy to discuss it with anyone that asks and I fully respect those who think differently. I dont really care to argue with anyone about it though. My daughters Grandmother is Jehovahs Witness, she is always after me. I tell her we agree to disagree. I figure you do what you want, I do what I want, and we will see who is right in the end. MOVING ON.
In case you were wondering, click here for a definition of Lent.
Every year I have done this I have found that it is much easier than say a New Years Resolution. Maybe because I am praying about it and feel accountable? Again with the accountability, it really is key. This year I am going to try for the most ever and Im feeling pretty good about it.
Here is to a jumpstart in the name of Jesus!

Giving Up

Diet Soda  - My crutch. I hate, no, I LOATHE coffee. I love the cold crisp first drink of bubbly goodness. The way it dances on the tongue and the cools the esophagiul tube as it goes down, then hits the top of my stomach as if to say "Lets get this party started my acidic friends!" I will miss it so. I know it is for the best in the long run and I hope to not start again after my 40 days are up. Farewell DC my old friend !!

Candy Dish here at work  - This dish is the devil. I sit diagonally across from it. It is filled to the brim daily with delectable treats while it owner peruses weight watchers magazines and never touches it. It calls to me in a sugar whisper. It calls to everyone else in the department too. I think its her secret ploy to give us all heart disease so she can take over the company. My trips to and fro end NOW (well tomorrow officially , just one more tiny butterfinger today)

Half my Salt  -  Oh if ever there was a salt junky she is me. I can not get enough of the stuff. To me, nothing tastes good without it. I know it would be far to bold to try and give it up completely, therefor my plan is to give up half of what I would normally eat-which is a ton.Instead of 4 salt packets on my frozen meal, I will try to use only 1, 2 at the most but no more. Even the Bible talks of salt as precious commodity, Matthew 5:13!

Smoking  -  I've done it before, I can do it again!! I only smoke at night, most people have no idea. I sneak out after the kids are asleep. Sometimes I skip a night or two even. Its like my glass of wine, my tool for unwinding the days stress-some days its in demand more than others. It's a nasty habit, of this I am fully aware. I think it smells and I hate it but staying quit has been one of my lifes toughest challenges .


Taking On

Reading the New Testament in 40 days - Tried this before and usually quit during Romans for some reason. All have sinned and fall short of the glory... aaaand Im done. LOL. Determined this time to make it through!

Going to Church every Sunday maybe Wednesdays - Problem here is I dont have a church. Im not a huge fan of church to be honest but for this I am willing to give another go and see what will happen.

Walking every day - Here Jesus endured so much to save me and I cant even get my lazy butt up to walk for 30 minutes to help keep my body healthy? Unacceptable. To that I add the recommended 8 daily servings of water and pray for it to stick.

Traditional Fasting - Haven't tried this one before. Shrimp Taco Fridays here I come !!

So there you have it, my Lenten list ! Prayers accepted.

Fact: I am crazy for lists

I don’t know why. Lists for me are a fun way to think of the future and plan for it I suppose. I will go thru my purse and find list from months before. If something ever happens to me someone might think I was a crazy after seeing all my lists and spreadsheets. Grocery lists, dinner idea lists, budgets for each check (I even have a spreadsheet projecting my yearly budget), Christmas lists, birthday lists, little list of expensive things I want, lists of books I want to read, places to go, people to see, and THE LIST GOES ON, literally.
          I am excited to get paid soon as I am about to make a purchase off one of my lists. The “As seen on TV” list of things I MUST try. So far, on that list I have tried the following :

• Potato peeler gloves –  total sham. You have to boil the potato first then use the gloves; it was a huge time suck. The commercial made it seem as if magically the skin just fell away, damn special effects.

• Magic Toothpaste Dispenser – bastard worked a week maybe. Then the toothpaste clogged up the little hole and I had to wash it for ever and use q-tips to unclog only to make it work again for 2 more times - AARGH !

• Thighmaster – Suzanne Somers you’re a little white liar !!! My thighs never changed. I used that thing for at least 2 weeks straight before giving up.

• Oxi Clean – Actually works! RIP Billy Blanks. I would have probably still bought it if you weren’t so hyped up, then you would probably still be here today too- sad.

• Proactive – Also works, pretty well I might add. However,  it dried out my skin like crazy and the repair lotion burns, but since I dont wash my face .... well , hence my Zit problem.

                So, next on my list is.... The GYRO Bowl. 2 for $14.99!! Not bad, not bad. It’s a crazy bowl that claims it never spills. Also, it looks like Saturn so thats a plus. Who doesn’t love space? It is the final frontier. This bowl is perfect !!! My twins LOVE to spill their snacks throughout the house. Then they crush  the spilled items with their little feet into the carpet, its just precious...HA. So, Once I receive the bowls and give them the goldfish/fruitloop test I will let you know how it went. Fingers Crossed!

Fact: I suck at sending cards on time.

ALAS, a GENIUS tool I have found !!!

Hallmark will stamp and mail cards for me? WHAT ! You heard right. These sly bastards have figured it out ! Finally I can go online and for under $4 send my Gram or Mom a thank you card. Now, they will most certainly miss the hand writing but I am prepared to hear about that. However, they will not be able to come down on me for missing a thank you ever again !! This is so sweet, sure $4 may seem a bit much but really i NEVER have stinkin stamps, ever. I pay bills online, send emails, etc. Its just not that often in this day and age that one gets to the actual post office. I can buy stamps at the grocery store of course, but I always forget , so the damn card I bought sits, and sits, and sits, until a month later when I get the dreaded phone call. Them thinking I am ungrateful and unthoughtful, NOT ANYMORE !! I thank you Hallmark for making life a tad easier, this should put me on time for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, shoot maybe I will even send "thinking of you cards" ! This is one thing I can mark off my plans to be better at doing, I am so excited. The possibities are endless. Now, if Hallmark could help me get to work on time.... Then the world would be my oyster. One thing at a time I suppose.

THANKS HALLMARK, YOU OLD SO AND SO !! WOOT WOOT !!

Fact: Plans work !

"Fail to Plan and Plan to Fail " What a quote ! Another quote I love; “A plan is a map for the mind to follow” whoa that was DEEP !! HAHA , I could go on and on, there are about a million quotes on planning out there.
I am well aware of the fact that we can plan and plan , but what God has in store is what will happen no matter what the plan is! I think it is still important to keep a plan in place at all times, just in case all God has for you is coffee and Real Housewives re-runs. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for spontaneity. Believe you me, if I had the means, I would be a spontaneously travling fool! Idaho for the week, Paris for a weekend, Boston for some chowder, jet skiing today, snow skiing tomorrow— Fuhgedaboudit !! Always up for some last minute good times.
Right now though, I am mapping out for my mind for the coming New Year. 20 plans that I am going to try my best to follow. Hopefully I can revisit this same time next year able to say I have completed them all ! I realize most would call this a list of “resolutions” but I am not a fan of that – Tomato, Tomatillo - You get the point right?

1. Lose at least 20 lbs, try for 40 but 20 will get this a$$ in the healthy range at least and that’s acceptable
2. Count Calories, Exercise, take care of myself . Learn to run and do so at least twice a week leading up to a 5K race
3. Get motivated at work so I can get some sort of raise or promotion for my 5 year anniversary !
4. Learn to Knit to make my Grandma Anne proud, and hopefully one day follow in her footsteps.
5. Enroll and begin going to College for the first time in my life – One class at a time will make Colleen a rich girl…mentally and eventually monetarily !!
6. Join a Bunco group
7. Find a church and attend regularly (try to avoid “gossiping gals” that so often cause me to be disheartened and loathe the church experience.)
8. Do something nice/helpful and/or Say something nice/uplifting to someone each day ( For example: I honked and blew kisses at some roadside workers today-don’t you think they appreciated the love they so often give but rarely receive? I think so. )
9. Pay back any debts and Pay forward my blessings - Donate time, coupon extras, etc.
10. Continue marriage counseling
11. Save $$ to take the family home to Idaho and husbands family in Iowa
12. Get the Michael Jackson Wii game and learn the entire Thriller dance by Halloween –Zombie myself up and join a flash mob !!!!
13. Read one book a month - Something off the Times best seller list. – or some smutty soft porn- who cares, just read !
14. Get organized. Schedules, Chores, Coupons, Bills, etc. Be on time and don’t flake !
15. Nurture friendships and squash family feuds
16. Send Thanks you’s regularly, send b-day cards a week early and send Mom and Gram cards thinking of you cards once a month.
17. Take the kids to the beach!!
18. Be Positive. Heart and soul. And, literally. No more negativity at the bank… This year I have paid some $3000 in overdraft fees! Chase Bank, Your Welcome!!
19. One on One mommy n’ me dates with my kids monthly and Date night with the hubbs.
20. Take a dance class ~ Salsa here comes Colleen ~ !!Arriba!!

Happy New Year

Many are the plans in the mind of a man,but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.—Proverbs 19:21

I do pray for God's will to be done in my life at all times, whether or not my finances or silly free will gets in the way or not is another story... The following are my plans for the upcoming year not in any particular order. I am writing it all down to reflect on throughout the year and see how Im doing, maybe it will help keep me on track? I hope :-)

Do one nice thing every day, be it a smile to a frown or helping someone move-remember always your small gesture could be HUGE for someone else.

Get a new Sewing Machine and take some classes at Jo-Anns so I can make some nice gifts for next year at Christmas & plan for Christmas earlier. For so many years I havent had the ability to gift those who have generously gifted my family and I. I want to change that so much, it really weighs on my heart every year and this new year I am going to do all I can! Even if it is not much and they dont care or dont like what I give, it will feel good.

Take cake decorating classes with my girls, long overdue they have asked for so long-I am making it happen this year!

Try again to enroll in College this summer, taxes should not be an issue after this hard past year.

Make new friends-quit worrying about what people will think and get out there!

Find a church and get involved, get the kids involved in Youth.

Be a better Believer. My relationship with the Father is nobody's business. So why do so many think they have it all figured out?They also seem to have lots of advice. Good for them I suppose, I certainly don't. I do my best to follow what I know,to be honest, kind, make good decisions and teach my children the same. I try to read and pray and quietly serve. Alas, I continue to Sin and take pleasure in things of the world, I am not trying my hardest and I admit it. So this year I want to try harder.

Embrace who I am. I am funny (hilarious) okay maybe even sometimes uncalled for, I am REAL, I LOVE my family more than words, I ache in my heart, I pray for the best, I am tired ,I am lazy, I allow to much negative in my life,I worry WAY to much. Thats okay. I am often jealous of "seemingly"perfect (no offense to anyone reading this) stay at home moms that can Blog and go to groups and create little amazing things and shop shop shop.

Get over it. I MUST work, I MUST provide, I may not have all the newest things or go on great vacations but I try and make the best of what I have. At the end of the day I would love to workout, clean , organize closets ever so perfectly, make hairbows ,make cookies, make crafts, and have beautifully manicured nails, feet, and hair. But it just doesnt happen that way. I am tired! SO TIRED. I usually take my extra time to LAY on the couch, PLAY with my kids, Eat grilled cheese and watch cartoons! This year I want to curb some of that Lazy dogness in my heart and shut off the TV. Go outside to play, teach the kids to clean baseboards with a smile, or sew a quilt, things like that.

Some of us are called to serve and that is actually a blessing in itself. I vow to embrace being a servant and try to be the best I can be, the kingdom cant be full of Princesses and that is okay too.

Tame that tongue. I can cuss with the best of Sailors, its gotten out of hand. I used to do really well, I may have even gone a year without swearing when I was heavily involved in my church. It is rude and I know it, its hurtful and makes me look super negative. I will try to find replacements for these words and cease all cursing barring the occasional toe stub.

Get to Disneyland !!! Do the Volunteer thing with the family and save save save so we can go !

Get to Iowa to meet Twans family Id like my kids to know where he comes from even as crazy as he makes it sound. LOL

Get to Idaho for Christmas. I would LOVE my kids to have a white Christmas!!! I would also love to wake up and see my mom and sisters faces on Christmas moring for the first time since I was 11 years old. Not to mention all the amazing children I get to be Aunty to and of course my strapping Deputy warden for a Brother in law ! haha I miss my home,my family, and want this to be the year!

Get a car that seats 7 and is RELIABLE, where there is a will there is a way right? Must find the way....

Make this a better blog-end of story. It is lame and I need to keep up.

Let go. I have been through a lot in this short amount of 31 years. I must remember though that many have had it so much worse. I have often been discouraged "why me" why are some so fortunate and others dealt such huge blows? It is exhausting trying to know they whys of any situation, I am smart enought to know you can not have flowers with out rain. I want to let go of the past and move into my future praying that I and my family can get a long break from death,sorrow,and hurt.

Write Thank you's and mail them in adequate time COLLEEN ANN !!(thats in my mother and grandmother's voice)

TRY to Stop Worrying.

Call MOM once a month at least.

Create an emergency fund.It SUCKS x 5 not having anything in place for emergencies.As soon as tax dollars roll in ,they roll right back out..Usually paying back a last years emergency borrowed for, or fixing a car, but obviously some frivolous money burning goes on! We are just so excited to have some! Must put some away this year, really we MUST.

READ at least 5 books, at least.

Lose 35 pounds. Join the YMCA if at all possible, a good move for the whole family.

Stick to budget, no more negative accounts, no more bank fees. If we have to go without,have no cable or no phone so be it-I wanted to turn the TV off anyways right? :) If I had all the money I shell out in fees I would have about $2000 for 2009. That around 5 fees a month, sometimes more!YOWZA !

Be on time. Its so rude to be late. And not so smart for work even though they allow it, its not smart and I know it. Wake up an hour early-just do it !!!

Change the oil every 3 months , I know better than waiting 6+ but always do it- DOH!

Im sure I will think of more but thats plenty to start with..

Final word for myself this year is this..

Keep your words sweet as you never know when you may have to eat them.

Good night and Good Luck !

My "Phuket" List

Almost everyone has a Bucket List. I have decided to write mine out,except a little more extreme.....This is not pronounced like the island in Thailand. I choose to pronounce exactly as you would think. I use this spelling to be a touch more "sensitive" to those who cringe at the "F" word, but I choose this title because thats me!

I only use the actual word once, sorry folks! Turn away now if you must.


"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all" Helen Keller


In no particular order. 100 things I want to do before I die,or will do because...



Fuck it, you only live once!

1.Travel to Phuket,Thailand (pictured) GEORGEOUS!

2.Raise Happy,Healthy,Strong,Smart children

3.Blog my ridiculous thoughts*

4.Pay off all my debt !!!

5.Give birth to four people,2 at one time even!*

6.Take assertiveness classes - become super assertive!!

7. Remove myself from negative people/things in my life and live peacefully with no regrets

8. Join a Bowling League - Get cool sparkly bowling shoes

9. Protest something I am passionate about in Washington D.C.(secret hopes to burn my bra)

10.Get a nice 7 or 8 seat suv with fancy rims and super sparkly paint job.

11.Read my whole Bible once.

12.Build houses with Habitat for Humanity

13.Learn to fix and restore cars

14.Party in New Orleans for Mardi Gras -get lots of beads and possibly a voodoo doll or 2...

15.Attend the Running of the Bulls in Pamploma-just to watch not to run :) maybe.....

16.Vaca with my Mom and Sister Hanna to Ireland to trace our Grandpa Jack's roots

17.Vaca with my Dad and Sister Hanna to a Huge Hairband concert in Detroit Rock city!

18.Honor my sister Elise with a Professional Drag Racing strip named after her and throw a Huge kick off party with her favorites for all-Thirstbusters of Diet Coke & McDonalds French Fries. Featuring Bands- Tesla,Cinderella, and Whitesnake.

19.Create a Chapter of MADD dedicated to my beautiful sister Elise and dear friend Bradley, both whose young lives were cut short due to the stupidity of someone choosing to Drink & Drive.

20.Attend a National Air Guitar Championship and perform my best to Metallica-Fade To Black

21.Visit Wayne Ryan Jennifer Sherman and her new husband in Denver,Colorado.Tour Coors brewery while on that trip and ski, ski, ski !!

22.See the Rolling Stones live before one of them croaks.

23.Learn to snowboard and do wicked cool jumps

24.Cook With Paula Deen and Emerill -Oh yeah babe, y'all gonna luv this !

25.Learn to Dance like Napolean Dynamite and Salsa,Hip Hop,Waltz, All of it !

26.Get myself a real College Degree

27.Put all my kids through College

28.Go Zip-lining in Puerto Vallarta

29.Lose 40 lbs by Training for and Running a Marathon

30.Take every kiss my kids give, hug them tight,listen to their stories and praise their accomplishments-teach them to Love God,have manners, respect their elders, and to always follow the Golden Rule.

31.Backpack through Europe

32.Go to Japan-Eat real Sushi

33.Meet and have lunch with Tony Robbins,hope for a "Shallow Hal" spell in reverse-where I will look attractive to the world even if I am 300lbs with no hair.

34.Learn Spanish

35.Be on the Oprah Show(preferably Her Favorite Things)

36.Visit one of my bestest friends in her natural habitat-Erskine,Minnesota

37. Take my Dad to Sturgis and dig for Diamonds in South Dakota

38.Organize a Keepsake box and Scrapbook for each of my children.

39. Star in a super dumb hilarious movie opposite Will Ferrell.

40.Buy a nice house and pay it off

41.Live in Idaho again,visit at least 2 times a year until I can live there!

42. Go to Carnival in Brazil and Hike to see the giant Jesus

43. Drive in circles around Big Ben and Parliament with my kids, pretending I am Clark W. Griswold.

44.Go on a cruise

45.Take my family and my sister's family to Disneyland

46. and Disneyworld :)

47. Go to the Poconos & stay in the honeymoon suite with the giant Champagne glass hottub.

48.Eat Frog Legs and Escargot

49.Learn to shoot again,then go huntin' and fly-fishin' with my awesome b-in-law Aaron

50.Dance in a Burlesque show

51.Restore a muscle car & Drag Race it !!!!!!!!!

52.Learn to Knit and Sew like my Grandma Anne

53.Walk the steps of Jesus in Israel

54.Do Charity work in Louisiana with Brad Pitt (befriend Brad and Angie so our children will have playdates then maybe my twins will marry their twins....)

55.Spend a week at a 5 star spa with my sister Hanna and get us both Veneers since we were cheated of braces!

56.Get more Tattoo's

57.Read at least one book a month

58.Create enough passive income so that I don't have to work for "the man" another day in my life but can and will work to help others through Charity.

59.Write skits that make it on Saturday Night Live

60. Vacation in Hawaii for 2 weeks and do all the activities possible!Snorkel,Parasail,Hula,Volcano Luging, Bounty hunting with Dog...

61. Trust God to do His will in my life. Forget who doesn't like me, who has more, or who's doing what-Stop Hating -Be Thankful :)

62.Workout faithfully and eat semi healthy to maintain a flat tummy,tone arms and legs !

63.Travel the entire US in an RV with my family,seeing all obscure sites and eating all the popular dives as seen on Food Paradise and Food Network.

64.Become an Amazing & Funny writer and write a book that makes the NY Times bestseller list
65. TELL THE TRUTH ALWAYS

66.Make sure my parents are well taken care of in their golden years.

67.Take the Honeymoon with my husband that we never got to go on.

68.Shop at Tiffany New York,Saks 5th Ave,Barneys,and FAO Shwartz at Christmas time.

69.Go White Water rafting in my home state

70.Ride the worlds largest Rollercoaster (eat tums and nothing else beforehand)

71.Make someone laugh at least once a week !!

72.Milk a cow and make butter and cheese from said cow.

73.Go to Alaska and eat King Crab straight from the Deadliest catch boat-maybe Cornelia Marie(bring the butter from the cow above)

74.Win a sizeable amount of Money from a Lotto scratcher or Powerball

75.Never get into a bitter frame of mind or allow myself to get old-especially try not to cut my hair short and perm it up old lady style!

76. Ride an Elephant

77. Take my closest girl pals to the Bahamas as a huge thank you

78.Swim with Dolphins

79.Volunteer,Volunteer,Volunteer - teach my children to give back.

80. Attend a P.Diddy white party

81.Grow an amazing Garden with prize winning vegetables and fruits

82.Go to Greece, take a great pair of Jeans and send them to my sister....

83.Watch Gone with the Wind

84.BE STILL. Spend a whole 24 hours silent.Take it all in, listen for God's voice.

85.Help a farmer in Idaho harvest Barley,follow the barley from the ground to the brewery and drink it in !!!

86.Go to Time Square for New years eve.

87.Teach my children to bird call with a blade of grass.

88.Chase a Tornado

89.Kiss the Blarney Stone

90.Spend my 40th birthday on an island with my family and friends eating HUGE Lobster and Shrimp while Van Halen plays at my party.

91.Tour the Pyramids-get a mummy wrap, go at Halloween...

92.Learn to Box and throw a mean left hook

93.Pump Iron for strong arms and beat Lexi in Arm Wrestling

94. Get a "mommy makeover" from Dr. Lee in Beverly Hills and recover at a recovery resort.

95.Go to Africa to help people in need and see a wild Giraffe,maybe even a lion.

96.Stop biting my nails!

97.Never smoke again

98. Wear a pair of Ruby Slippers for no reason at all other than that they are fabulous. And to chase those tornado's.

99. Learn to understand,appreciate and love math.

100.See an Opera at the Sydney Opera House


Will you succeed? Yes, you will indeed (98 3/4% guaranteed)." - Dr. Seuss