Fact: Halloween Haunted Houses aren't Scary

           I specify "Halloween" because I know better than to bag on real Haunted Houses, guess who will never be a ghost hunter? never play a WEEGEE board? never say Bloody Mary in the mirror? This chick right here. (Yeah I spelled it wrong, I give it no glory) Moving on.
Lets be real here, how do people honestly get sooooo scared at these fake haunted houses? Its got to be a hoax, they must be faking to get a boys attention. I never could understand it. Went to my first one at the age of 16 with two couples, and my pal. The hh was an old closed down department store, not much scary about that. They had the old chainsaw massacre thing happening, the creepy guy in the shadows, the out of bush jumper, the coffin popper,  the usual. One of the couples with us was a really hot guy I crushed on, and his stupid girlfriend…uughh. She happened to be the only girl on the boys wrestling team at our High School and it was such a big deal. (la de friggin da)  I guess I can see where he was into her and not me. Clearly he must have been questioning his sexuality - it’s the only possible explanation. Anyways, little miss “man wrestling champion girl” nearly cried the entire way through this place, halfway through she jumped on MY back, mine, of all people?! I pushed her off of course; I was far too cool for that. She ran to her sissy boy and jumped on his back, continuing to scream and cry until she got out of there. I, on the other hand, am happy to admit, got kicked out early for smacking a touchy feely zombie in the face! Yeah, I may not be a wrestler but that’s how I roll. Perhaps I’m the one with the problem? I just don’t let it get to me; therefore it’s not all that “fun” of an experience. Call me what you will, Party-Pooper, Killjoy, Buzzkill. It takes something super creepy to get me, like a white van with no windows, a man in a VW bug asking directions, a phone call asking if I like Scary movies, etc.

Here are some facts as to why HH's dont scare me:
*To date no one has ever been killed at a haunted house in Phoenix, AZ.
*The Chainsaw has no chain morons! Sure it would still hurt but come on now, it wouldn’t take a limb off.
*They do background checks before hiring that creepy clown.
*A lot of the weird Drama kids from my school always applied for work at these places, those dorks couldn’t hurt a nerd.
*Most of the time –barring my zombie experience- they aren’t allowed to touch the guests.

If you just picture each of these creepily dressed freaks choking down some potato salad and taking a dump before their shift started, well then it takes a lot of the fear factor out of it.

So there you have it, a pretty convincing way to make Haunted Houses completely unscary. NOW, that being said, there are some ways to scare. Last year we went to one for a friend’s son’s birthday. This one had 3 separate experiences, two of which fall in the above category. The third caught me off guard. You entered in a black tube, it was the equivalent of being in one of the giant jumpers but the walls were pushed together. It was pitch black, super HOT, and just eery. You didn’t know when the end was coming, could not see in front or back of yourself, and could only hear the air powering the thing. If you suffered from Claustrophobia or had some sort of mental issue,  this place would break you,  it would be a definite problem. I actually at one point thought I may not get out, I may have gone the wrong way, began to believe I was possibly headed for eternal doom, anxiety attack began... and then it was over. PHEW & SCORE!!! Finally a scary experience, Touché haunted tube of Horrors, Touché!

Fact: Today is Fat Tuesday !!!

Every year for the past 6 or so years I have been participating in my own version of Lent. I was raised as a Lutheran. I was young when we stopped going so I dont much remember anyone participating if they did. but I genuinely LOVE the idea of giving up/taking on something to honor what I believe Jesus did for me.
DISCLAIMER: The reason I added the "I believe" should be self explanatory, but for some who like to argue that is not always the case.  Basically I belive the Christian principle of John 3:16, that God gave his only begotten Son for those who believe to live eternal life. I'd be happy to discuss it with anyone that asks and I fully respect those who think differently. I dont really care to argue with anyone about it though. My daughters Grandmother is Jehovahs Witness, she is always after me. I tell her we agree to disagree. I figure you do what you want, I do what I want, and we will see who is right in the end. MOVING ON.
In case you were wondering, click here for a definition of Lent.
Every year I have done this I have found that it is much easier than say a New Years Resolution. Maybe because I am praying about it and feel accountable? Again with the accountability, it really is key. This year I am going to try for the most ever and Im feeling pretty good about it.
Here is to a jumpstart in the name of Jesus!

Giving Up

Diet Soda  - My crutch. I hate, no, I LOATHE coffee. I love the cold crisp first drink of bubbly goodness. The way it dances on the tongue and the cools the esophagiul tube as it goes down, then hits the top of my stomach as if to say "Lets get this party started my acidic friends!" I will miss it so. I know it is for the best in the long run and I hope to not start again after my 40 days are up. Farewell DC my old friend !!

Candy Dish here at work  - This dish is the devil. I sit diagonally across from it. It is filled to the brim daily with delectable treats while it owner peruses weight watchers magazines and never touches it. It calls to me in a sugar whisper. It calls to everyone else in the department too. I think its her secret ploy to give us all heart disease so she can take over the company. My trips to and fro end NOW (well tomorrow officially , just one more tiny butterfinger today)

Half my Salt  -  Oh if ever there was a salt junky she is me. I can not get enough of the stuff. To me, nothing tastes good without it. I know it would be far to bold to try and give it up completely, therefor my plan is to give up half of what I would normally eat-which is a ton.Instead of 4 salt packets on my frozen meal, I will try to use only 1, 2 at the most but no more. Even the Bible talks of salt as precious commodity, Matthew 5:13!

Smoking  -  I've done it before, I can do it again!! I only smoke at night, most people have no idea. I sneak out after the kids are asleep. Sometimes I skip a night or two even. Its like my glass of wine, my tool for unwinding the days stress-some days its in demand more than others. It's a nasty habit, of this I am fully aware. I think it smells and I hate it but staying quit has been one of my lifes toughest challenges .


Taking On

Reading the New Testament in 40 days - Tried this before and usually quit during Romans for some reason. All have sinned and fall short of the glory... aaaand Im done. LOL. Determined this time to make it through!

Going to Church every Sunday maybe Wednesdays - Problem here is I dont have a church. Im not a huge fan of church to be honest but for this I am willing to give another go and see what will happen.

Walking every day - Here Jesus endured so much to save me and I cant even get my lazy butt up to walk for 30 minutes to help keep my body healthy? Unacceptable. To that I add the recommended 8 daily servings of water and pray for it to stick.

Traditional Fasting - Haven't tried this one before. Shrimp Taco Fridays here I come !!

So there you have it, my Lenten list ! Prayers accepted.

Fact : Fab Fabric Flowers are For Sale !

I CAN DO IT !! I can make fabric hair flowers and I am!! They are FABULOSITY, well maybe they are just fabulous to me but nevertheless. Shabby Chic for sure and well I am NO perfectionist sooooo can you see a seam here and some glue there? Sure, but what they hey its in your hair to be admired from afar so it shouldn’t really matter all that much !!


It's almost Christmas, the most bittersweet time of year for me. I say that because I love the season and the reason for it, I do think the reason gets lost among the shopping, spending, wanting, family bickering, etc. Also, having 4 kids of my own and my husband having 3 others atop of that, makes the already stretched pocketbook look like me at 8 months with twins. Not an easy feat to say the least. I want desperately to spoil my kids with a big and lustrous Trump like holiday, something right out of Macy’s Christmas window !!! I want to gift all my friends and family, feed the poor and hungry, give to the teachers and the parents and the neighbors, bake and bake and bake some more, go caroling, put on a lavish display of singing Griswaldesque lights, overflow the bell ringers basket with hundreds of dimes ! Literally, my heart overflows with the urge to give !!!! And then, I get my paycheck.
My dreams are dashed; my heart says "this is for the best Colleen!!!" Teach your children about the reason, keep it simple, count your blessings as they are many - you have food, water, lights and warmth. Do not covet the neighbors 20,000 twinkle lights, blow up north pole scene and shiny red, glittering, glorious, turbo charged, hemi, V8 Challenger…. ITS OVERRATED !! What you have here is perfect and more than many others have. 4 healthy kids. They will be happy with the simple gifts, under a tree of ornaments made with love, by them, at school throughout the years, Macy aint got $hit on that, right ?! Honestly though I want both, is it even possible ???

Well, This went way off course, bottom line, I am making fabulous fabric hair flowers to make extra money for last minute Christmas items and stocking stuffers, praying I will sell out of them and showing them off because Im pretty proud, even though they are simple, I have mastered it as a skill and feel pretty stinkin good about that right now ! There are a million and 2 tutorials on line if you want to make them too.

! Merry Christmas to all !

The Best Holiday

Halloween gets a bad rap. If people could just see beyond the blood,guts,gore,occasional poisoned piece of candy,devil costumes,bag snatching,pumpkin smashing,etc. They might be able to see that Halloween could actually bring world peace! (Well for one day at least)

Picture it, this is the one day a year ALL can be accepted. You can be the ugliest,weirdest,creepiest,oddest of folk and come out of the house to cheers ! Normally these people show up only in Wal-Marts and at State Fairs, and most of us just cringe at them then.BUT not on All Hallows Eve, noooo, on this day people will ooh and awe over how "real" the costume looks, asking "Who did your make-up, a special effects artist?" Or "Oh my goodness Ive never seen a more life like Quasimoto!" Things like this really boost the spirits of the disfigured shut-ins among us and create a peaceful day where we are all just getting along! Not to mention everyone is offered free candy?! Or the occasional Apple and Toothbrush from the neighborhood dentist. Nonetheless, these free delights can keep many homeless (non-diabetic of course) full and satisfied (if you are giving out snickers) until Thanksgiving! Look at all the goodness really being spread on a day that so many consider so awful? Its truly glorious when you think about it,so I say; hats off Halloween!!!

Its all gravy

"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." Erma Bombeck

What a great family !! I have said it before and I will say it again, I believe Gravy should be its own food group. Gravy is so delightful that society even uses it as a slang word. "Its all gravy" means Everything is wonderful for me thankyou-or "I got plenty of Gravy" means I have a nice balance in my bank account. I'm sure there are more, but it is universal that Gravy is the icing on the cake of the savory world. I could eat gravy at every meal and a thin gravy could definetly be a beverage if say you had lockjaw, not a sausage gravy of course but a turkey or beef gravy would work. I do prefer a thicker version though. I think my love for gravy is the reason why Thanksgiving is my 2nd favorite Holiday. I mean sure Im thankful, yada yada yada but my heart is really in it for the gravy.