Fact: I am late for Mothers Day..always

Some things I want my mom to know.
Dear Mom,
I lova lova lova you. That is the favorite thing you ever said to me as a child, I miss hearing it. I do love you more than you know.
Dear Mom,
I am sorry my Mothers Day cards are always late or sometimes never even arrive. This year and last I couldnt afford a card. I should have went earlier to buy one but waited too long and after the holiday they were all gone :-( I will have to make a home made one to make up for it. Past years I was being angry, I have spent to much energy holding grudges.

Dear Mom,
I want to be like you.
In the begining I wanted to be a hair stylist to gossip with ladies, and cut, perm, or color peoples hair to make them feel beautiful like you did everyday. I wanted to be a good dancer like you. I wanted to wear lipstick on my cheeks.
Then I got older.... and you got sick again as you were before I knew about it. I am so glad AA gave you those years of sobriety. I know now that Alcoholism is a disease. I am sad you have it. I hope I never get it. It made me lose you...for a while. I didnt want to be like you at all after that. You said things that hurt me very bad and you probably dont remember, I remember everytime I drink. I tell myself  "dont enjoy this too much"
I still get scared I will break and it will get me too.
I ,  having four kids can not imagine the pain in losing one, especially my first born. I can understand when you get too sad to cope and I wish I could make it better. If beer is what helps than I guess thats okay with me after all these years, but please, dont drive.
I still want to be like you.
I am happy I was raised in Idaho. Even if for a short time, it is my home. I know much more than the city kids I am friends with now because of all I learned there. I wish my kids could learn it all too. And I hope to bring them there more often to learn to appreciate the beauty of the outdoors.
I want to cook like you, I want to grow a garden and can things, I want to be resourceful not wasteful, I want to appreciate nature's beauty and get my hands dirty in the soil.
You gave me a sense of humor and like you I pick at my toemails when I watch TV. You taught me good manners and that I should Love Jesus. I like to be crafty because of you. I like to listen to the Judds and Randy Travis and read the Lords prayer when I miss you.
Thank you Mom.
I love, lova, lova you.

Fact: Vaccines dont always keep the bugs away

Isnt that wierd ? I know a lot of folks that do not vaccinate. (I even have a friend who's mother has become so anti-vaccination that I think she may need some sort of mental health intervention.) This scares me a bit. Autism definetly scares me as well but even without the full knowledge I continue to vaccinate my kids. Its either going to be a-okay, possible autism or worse, or the chance at some point of ending up deathly ill of some disease that was irradicated 40 years back and there is now no way to treat. Its a "who would you rather" type situation involving the worst possible choices, either way is scary, but you must choose.
I watched an episode of ER where someone got the small pox and basically everyone in the hospital was preparing to kiss their asses goodbye, scared the $hit out of me. Perhaps it was a government conspiracy to get ER to run that episode as to scare the highest rated veiwing audience at the time into vaccinating their children? Its possible ! But, Im too lazy to search conspiracy theories. Bottom line is, Dr said vaccinate them and I did. I admit now I am probably not material for the next womens rights movement anymore, sigh. So here it is, I took the direction of the professionals and still 3 out of my 4 kids has ended up with the chicken pox. Still waiting to see if #4 will show up with the terrible bumps in the next 4 weeks now that his sissy has them, My poor sweet Eden just covered and soo itchy. (Such the perfect time I might add, we are moving this week and no one wants to babysit) We take her to the Dr yesterday. She says, yeah you can still get them even if you have the vaccine, its just a milder case. NICE.  So I search around a bit and that seems to be the case for all vaccines, pretty much you can get whatever you come in contact with it just might be less shitty. Good to know. Leaves me to wonder whats the case if your vaccination is 30+ years old and you meet up with the mumps??? Time to buy stock in surgical masks perhaps....

OY VEY !!!

Fact: I am Irish

I love that I am Irish, my parents even gave me a beautiful Irish Gaelic name :

colleen [ˈkɒliːn kɒˈliːn]n
1. an Irish word for girl
2. an Irish girl
[from Irish Gaelic cailín a girl, a young unmarried woman]

I wish I knew more of this Irish history, it is from my mothers side. Her Father (Grampa Jack) was born to Irish Immigrants. My Great Grandmother Johanna (my sisters name) migrated when she was young and his father did as well I belive but I dont know much about that. I found what I thought to be GG Johanna's record at Ellis Island on ancestry.com, it was so exciting to me! But then again, I LOVE history, always was my favorite subject. I wasnt sure of my Great Grandfathers first name but his last name was Ronayne. My mom thinks she may know where in Ireland they hailed from and hopes to one day go there and even maybe meet relatives, wouldnt that just be amazing? Though it brings to mind the Griswalds heading to see family in Europe and staying with the wrong people, could totally see that happening to us!
I pray she makes it there before she gets to old, I really do. Life is so short and I would hate for her to miss it. I'd really like for my sister and I to be there with her just to see her eyes light up at all the things she will encounter. Just another dream of mine. Cheers Grampa Jack !

An old Irish Proverb

May the Irish hills caress you

May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

May there always be work for your hands to do,

May your purse always hold a coin or two.

May the sun always shine warm on your windowpane,

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

May the hand of a friend always be near you,

And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

May those who love us love us.

And those that don't love us,

May God turn their hearts.

And if He doesn't turn their hearts,

May he turn their ankles,

So we'll know them by their limping.

Happy Saint Patricks Day !!!

Fact: You must "hang in there"

My daughter Lexi calls me at work in a panic this morning. "Mom, I can't go to school". Her I am thinking the worst, of course, as always. Has she fallen and knocked out a tooth ? Did she trip on the mounting piles of laundry in the hall that never end and slice her leg open on her brothers tonka truck ? Maybe there is a mad man outside and she is under the bed hiding terrified and so worried about missing school but can not leave for fear he may attack? !!BUZZER !! Maybe I am a touch cookoo and/or have watched to many "When things go bad" episodes on Spike?

Ummm yeah ...No. She continues to say, "I look horrible" to which I respond with a very very LOUD laugh. SERIOUSLY ?! I look horrible 3 out 5 days for

work, do I get to stay home ? Hell no ! Now get on the effing bus or your grounded.
        It is a hard learned fact that life goes on. Whether we live, die, puke, or have extremely bad hair. Nothing stops for anyone. You have to suck it up and participate. (If she had strep throat or a crazy fever of course she could stay home, Im no Mommy Dearest) Looking bad is no excuse, its funny she actually has friends that stay home for this reason with parental approval-this boggles my mind. How can you teach your kid that they must keep going even when things get bad if you allow them to slink out of day to day life for the most silly of reasons? As many times as I've prayed I could sleep for a week to avoid an awful circumstance, I have genuinely been glad in most cases that I tredged through it and made it to the other side, almost always learning a lesson or being stronger for it.

Dear Kids,
        I hope you understand someday.... Why I wont let you miss school for looking awful. Why I wont allow you to spend the night on a school night. Why I make you watch TV with me and will not allow you to have a TV or computer in your room. Why I read your text messages.Why I ask a thousand questions about who, what, when, where, and why. Why I always talk to parents before you can go to a friends house or stay the night. Why I get so angry when you are late. Why Im not sure I will ever let you be out past 9pm. Why I want you to be respectful to others including teachers you say "hate:"you. (which I will investigate to be sure you are in fact overreacting.) Why I insist you use your manners at all times. Why I give you book reports instead of grounding you. Why I will always say "because I am your Mom not your friend." Why I make you try everything once before you can say you dont like it. Why I want you to be nice to your siblings, since I lost one of mine and it hurts so bad. Why I always want to know where you are, who you are with and what you are up to. Why I expect you to help me around the house. Why I want a strong bond with all of you, since I dont have it with my mom and I know how hard life is without that. That I do all these things and more because I want you to be an amazing, strong, trusted, and most of  all - happy adult. An adult  who knows your Mom loves you more than anything in the world.

Fact: I am at a loss

How do you stop your toddler from doing something? Obviously there is timeout, spankings (in line with the law- I'm no beater, but discipline is key) hot sauce or vinegar for thumb sucking or biting, but what about this.....Hair pulling? Yes hair pulling. My little princess currently is beginning to look like Prince circa 1985. This is because she has plucked all the beautiful ,bouncy, sandy blonde, curls from the left side of her head. WTF? right?! It is making me so very sad and scared to be honest. What do we do ? Shave her head, cut it super short, leave it and buy her all purple velvet outfits ???  I have no idea !
                           Since a wee tiny babe my sweet Eden has loved crocheted and knitted blankies ONLY. She will refuse and ultimately throw a crazed fit if she can not have this very specific type of blankie. Her tiny fingers weave in and out of the holes and she twists, and twist and twists until at least one of her fingers is lacking all blood supply and has turned dark purple. It is her soothing ritual to fall asleep or watch tv, she sucks her thumb and twists the blankie. So far, countless blankets have been destoyed having to cut her free. However, once the finger returns to its previous fleshy hue...the love affair continues. Its as if it never happened, and she returns to another blankie to do it all over again. We finally put our feet down and hid away all "holy" blankets to save her from dropping a digit. (I picture the rubber band on a dogs tale and my imagination runs wild, it scares the crap out of me.)

Unfortunately since the taking away of her favorite thing, as most would , she has found a replacement. Her curly golden locks. Easy for twisting and no one can take them away. Then, once completly tangled she pulls to free her finger thus losing said curl - leading to a good portion of the whole left side being gone. Ive given back the blankets during the day so we will see.  Short of joining the Revolution, I am at a total loss for what to do from here if it continues. Ideas anyone ?

Update:

So we cut her hair short to try and even it up a bit. So far so good. I would take pics to post but since the camera was stolen it will have to wait. BOOO !!

Fact: I can not stop the growth process...Please, baby dont grow !!

In the events of the past week I realized I dont want my family to grow up. I want to be selfish and put them in a little snow globe just for me on a shelf in a safe place so I know where they are are and can control what they do. Is that weird? Here are some random things we did this week, I love them so much.

  Went on a coupon hunt with my Lexi, she is so much like me. I LOVE it. Got 100+ Sobes and saved almost $400 at the store thanks to my pal Margie, we will be set for drinks for months-Thanks friend!!

Watched Kysa and her buddy get dolled up -- mascara & lip gloss -- for the Daddy daughter sock hop. Realized I am totally not ready for her to become “cool” yet. Love that Daddy has been there always for their events, I'm sure they will be grateful for that one day too.

Wiped Jamison’s super green and snotty nose on the sleeve of one of Daddy’s shirts out of the laundry pile (hey it was the closest thing near to tissue) forgot to put it in the dirty, not sure I will tell my husband. LOL

Ate sloppy BBQ ribs while watching Super Bowl 45 with my husband. Ribs on sale buy one slab get 2 free. Thank you Mr. Joe Albertson!!! Not to mention my hubbs is a great cook. Not a huge fan of sports, but Football, though I don’t understand much more than touchdowns is not hard to watch. Ifyouknowwhatimsayin....

Watched Eat, Pray Love. Eh it was okay. I now know I can skip India on a world tour though -YIKES. Got a cool quote from it that really resonated with me. I may have to write about that at a later date. “Ruin is a gift, Ruin is the road to transformation” man do I believe that is true.

Watched Michael Jackson “This is it” CRYED like a 5 year old. I love him more today than yesterday. Over the years I have taken a lot of flack from others for professing my love of MJ. I don’t know if he did bad things or not and I don’t really care. He was one BAD Muthashutyomouth!! I may not have let my son stay the night at his house if asked, but I respect his talents all day long. RIP

Listened to Eden yell Mom, MOM, MOOOOOM every few minutes. From wanting a cup to telling on her brother or just to get me to look at her, she knows what she wants and makes sure I know too. Her big blue eyes, round blonde curls and brash little voice are like a movie playback of me as a little girl. From stories my sister has told me all my life, she is my carbon copy.

Walked to store with Eden, James, and Lexi while it was a warm 40 some degrees for milk and popsicles. Embarrassed Lex half of the way with my singing and dancing stroller pushing antics.

Bribed Kysa with smoothies for her and her friend if she would clean the house.

Had an in depth conversation with Lex about Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj and Drake. I am wondering who bites whose style, she assures me Weezy is the top trendsetter.

Gave Kysa lovins - explained I am not a fan of her being on the phone all the time, why must they grow up??

Layed with the babies and watched Monsters Inc. They LOVED it, James was afraid of the beginning scene and ran away from the TV but stopped to watch from the kitchen-LOL-the “I just cant look away” starts that early.

Had a mini anxiety attack thinking about them growing up and leaving me, had a drink.

Talked my sister Hanna today, she is having the same anxiety.We agreed we will have to get through this together, so thankful I have her !!!

Time....

Am I already at the point of saying "They just grow up so fast" ? I didnt think I was even close to old enought to utter that phrase. (Did I spell that right or was that like a cow? oh well) The other day I found myself thinking it and wondering where have my babies gone? Our Daughters-Breanna 13,Lexi 12, and Kysa 10. Breanna is now a teenager and looks to be closer to 18 than 13 which is so scary. Lexi has turned into REAL twelve year old,attitude included. Here I thought I was going to avoid this stage because I had done such a good job with her,no chance she would need the discipline I deserved at her age. Well actually she is not anywhere near how I was at her age, she is a good kid, but still - I had envisioned a halo of sorts. Kysa is a lot like I was with 2 older sisters picking on me, tortured and dramatic enough to win best actress.

3 girls so close in age are also quite a messy bunch. If they had a class in school about shoving everything under a bed or in a closet to make things appear clean in under 5 minutes, my girls would be on the Honor Roll. And so the punishment begins, taking away the TV,the I-POD,the video games, and the dreaded book reports of a book chosen by yours truly. A snide comment was made that now we were left without anything to take away, to which I replied-You still have hair. Id be happy to take an inch for each occurence.

What they dont know is I have a big bag of tricks for after we have taken everything away. I mean how fun would it be to show up to one of their classes in a most fashionable getup of curlers,robe,and signature coffee cup to hand off a forgotten lunch and give big smooches in front of the whole class, only to walk away with my robe tucked into my shorts? Ahhh the fun I can have-and will I might add!

But in reality, I am sad. I dont want my kids to grow up this fast. Even with 2 new babies in the house who are already 3 months old and being so tired from this busy busy life, I think,where does the time go?! How are my babies already 3 months ? How is tiny Kysa Bean already 10 when she was just 5 ? God gave me such precious gifts that I am in awe of and yes sometimes completely frazzled by. I have certainly learned there is no specific age for the thinking of "they grow up so fast". They just do and you have to enjoy every moment you get because tomorrow its just a memory.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho.....

Back to work I go ! Tomorrow is my first official day back to work since my maternity leave began early due to my GIANT belly back in November. On a side note: I can not imagine how a person could carry 3,4,5,6,7,or 8 babies in their belly as you can see below 2 is enought to send a Mom over the edge -Pic from the morning I left for the hospital and I was a month early ! ANYWAYS....I have to say I am somewhat excited to get back to work and feel like I am in an adults world again. But...on the other hand---I am sad to leave my precious babies,its been fun to be home and see them grow and be home for my girls after school which Ive never gotten to do-I should have gotten a string of pearls and a June Cleaver dress,haha !

The babies are starting to smile now! It really is the cutest thing, we caught Eden but havent gotten Jamison to hold his smile long enough yet. They looked so cute on Valentines day in the little outfits we got them. My sweet boy is very spoiled already and he loves to cry if he is not being held. So with me at work he is going to be in for some tears! Luckily Eden is not much for crying and she likes to just sit and look around, such a doll. I hope I havent forgotten too much about my job (Im sure my boss feels the same, LOL ) and hopefully I haven't missed too much in the last 2 months -YIKES!!

Double Time

Im having Bloggers Block. I cant think of any random thoughts lately ! Most Likely because I am in the throws of remembering how to be a a mom to new babies again. After 9 years since the last one, mama has gotten rusty! So maybe once I am back to work I will get on track for funny ok sometimes downright silly blogs - but for now looks like this will be the Baby Place because that is my current life. So this is the latest pic with the babies in the outfits my sweet granny knitted for them- SOOOO Precious!

My wonderful big sister Hanna came to visit with her youngest Morgan. They were here for a week and were such a help, I am soo sad they had to go back to Idaho but so thankful they were able to come.I have posted some photos from our visit and for you all to see how Eden and Jamison are growing - getting bigger every day, it is so crazy!

Delirious..ly pleased

Ahhh the joy of a new baby....babies that is. Prince's song "Delirious" is my new theme song. Though I am as stated in the title, Delirously Pleased with my new bundles of joy, I am also on the brink of being an involuntary insomniac. I am a person who LOVVES to sleep, its a total luxury for me.I love a big comfee bed with soft pillows and warm blankets, maybe a down comforter and a mint ...okay so maybe Im going too far, but you get the idea.

Having a new baby means sleepless nights, but having two?! Whoa... So they are great kids, God has blessed me with 4 healthy babies that are not big criars or fussers okay so Im only 3 weeks in on these two but so far so good, and God will only give you what you can handle,right?

I think he knows I cant handle much more after my crazy 2008! Waking up every 3 hours is not so bad, they havent cried all night yet and they generally eat,get changed, and go back to sleep with no problems. But when they take about an hour to eat each that means one hour for sleep between feedings-not so fun for a girl that loves sleep.My husband helps on the weekends when he is not working and my older kids are the BIGGEST helpers, they are so Awesome. I have never wanted to be an insomniac,infact I have felt sorry for those who suffer from such a terrible thing because being a sleeper is sooo nice but lately Im thinking it would be nice to have insomnia just for the next year or so to keep me from this "delirious" state I am currently in !

I cant remember things,I am a bit clumsy, and probably whatever else comes with the state of delirium-But I am pleased nonetheless, 2 healthy beautiful babies and two amazing older daughters who made it through my deliriousness during their first years.I dont need it, no sleep is as good as this!

Twins!!!

Welcome to the world Jamison Antoine Smith and Eden Johanna Smith ! My precious babies were born on Tuesday December 16th via C-Section thanks to a wonderful Doctor that let me go early as Breathing,eating,sleeping,walking and virtually everything else was becoming impossible for me to do : ) So after a delightful Amniocentis to verify lung development was good they scheduled me for delivery-HOORAY !!! Jamison weighed in at 7lbs even 19 inches long and a nice big ol boy head, hehehe. Eden weighed in at 5lbs 8 oz 18 inches long and she is a tiny little precious thing, her brother was definitley taking all he food but she is catching up now, ready to eat at every moment. I will have more to share in time but for now I will be getting a routine in place or trying my best that is,so far though they are amazing!