Fact: I am a daring kind of girl

For Valentines Day this year I dragged my husband into "The Love Dare". He came in kicking and screaming that is no joke-we literally fought over starting last night or tonight. I win. One day in and we have already broken the rule of being patient with each other. Arguing at 9am, only 3 hours from wake up - YIKES.

Secretly, I am hoping over the next 40 days he will transform into a praying lovelorn fool.  I think he secretly is hoping I lose the book. So we will see, the book says it is hard to complete right there when you open it.
I havent seen the movie so I am not exactly sure "how" you do it, but we will read and do our best to get it right. I will do my best not to lose the dang book. I searched around a bit for testimonials, to date I havent found many; other than the folks who work at K-Love. But come on, they WORK at K-Love! Obviously they dont have much choice to just quit the dare now do they? Other than that it looks as if most give up after the first couple weeks. I admit that I cheated and read ahead, and honestly it does look like more than my hubbs is willing to do. Only thing I can say its worth a shot. He he may have argued a bit but, he read it with me last night, he brought it up to me today, we will read again tonight, and try again tomorrow. One day at a time. I will let you know what happens....

UPDATE !! 02/21/11 ....

                   So, we are 8 days in and I am actually a bit surprised. I had a negative though process coming into this that we would surely have given up by now. I am pleased to report, I was wrong. I should have known right? God is good – ALL THE TIME, all the time GOD IS GOOD. So far it has really brought the two of us closer, definetly made us more aware of the others thoughts and feelings. My husband is actually bringing up the book in daily conversation and he is excited to read each new day. I think its something to do with the “dare” part about it. Like it’s a challenge and if he does it he wins, he is a sports buff by nature and he LOVES to win. Whatever it is, its Awesome and I am excited for each new day. I would recommend this to anyone who is in a marriage "stale" spot. More to come !
UPDATE!! 03/22/11 - We missed a day here and there but we have recovered them well and kept on track. Things continue to go well and we have began praying together. This is something I would have NEVER though would come out of my mouth. Its been very positive to say the least, I am so happy we did this. Its currently day 32- I wont say what the dare is but it involves Sex, this is hubbs fave dare of all he said.  Duh!! LOL

FACT: Affairs SUCK

I was a funnier/happier/carefree/better woman before my husband had an affair.

It was hard for me to write that for the world to see just now.

I am simply writing this as if no one is actually reading. This blog has been dormant for a LONG time now, so it seems more like a journal entry I think. Blogging helped me through that time... and now over 2 years later I am trying to get back to ME. Trying to find the road back to the Funny, Sweet, Silly, Unsuspecting, Crazy fun Girl that I once was, ME.
One of my favorite sayings is : "build a bridge and get over it"
That is what I am trying to do as I have chosen to mend this union and not end it - for many many reasons, so far so good.
That doesnt mean it has been easy. Not for me, our kids, nobody.  Forgiving it turns out is much easier than forgetting. I find myself wanting him to pay for what he has done.So, every chance I get to turn the knife, I do. Just to make sure he remembers that I havent forgotten. Its tough, but I am trying. As with all things, time is healing the wounds and counseling is helping A LOT. Still, I currently "suspect" every women I meet as a possible target for my husband. This is what infidelity did to me. I do not trust people anymore. I hate that.
            I like friends. I DOUBT most would want my husband except for a triflin few. But then are they Triflin? Isn't it his lying tail that stepped out on me and I am afraid will do it again? Are there women that don't care about a wife -of course- but is it all his doing in my reality? YEP that is a fact. I am gonna try to own that fact and keep moving one small step at a time.
Another fact : Not a lot of "HELP"out there for women going through an affair. I looked high and low I tell ya. A lot of good books there are, but just not what I was looking for. I wanted an INSTANT help, like a xanax. Something to soothe the initial pain and FAST. I didn't find it. (Well there is always Alcohol and or Drugs, but not my cup of tea being that I am trying for mother of the year at all times and that at the time I was pregnant with Twins) Every book or article I read said, it takes time to get thru your emotions, blah blah blah...I am not a fan of being patient, or dealing with EMOTIONS. Quick fixes, to be honest, are more my speed. Maybe that's a generational issue? If my Dad told it it certainly would be.

                  I hope one day I can help someone going thru the same sort of situation.

Maybe I will talk about all this more in the future. Maybe not. I am up in the air here. All I know is its time to blog again. About life the things I love, the things I hate, and the things that I feel like blogging about.

Simply because it makes me feel happy. 

Happy me is a very good thing.

I never took a writing class nor know much about how to write, grammar, puncuation, etc is sorta bad (obviously). I want to write for some reason, I crave it, something in me just feels like I need to release!! Maybe one day I will go back to school (I hope) Maybe I will learn to write for real?

I dream of writing skits for SNL someday. Making the world laugh about idoitic things.

Everybody needs a dream huh?

That's mine...