Fact: I believe in signs

             Though I don't always know what they are signing to. Perhaps I think its a sign, but its just a coincidence? Have you ever felt that way? Is that "happenstance"? Or "Serendipity", thats it... In any case,  I am wondering if I am in the midst of a sign. In the past few weeks I have gotten 2 new friend requests on Facebook. Just when I think I have got every friend ever befriended, a new one pops up! I love that. Its silly but opening it, and waiting to see who it is reminds me of going to check for eggs when I was little. I was always so anxious and excited to see if the chickens had laid eggs, once I saw them it was SO exciting !!!.
           I opened the first request and it is from my sister Elise's dearest friend growing up, Lavonne (Vonnie). They were like peas and carrots to say the least. If Elise was there, Vonnie was there and vice versa. Most of the time I was there too! My sisters were my idols and my mom made take me everywhere, much to there chagrin. I loved when my sisters had to watch me because we ate terribly, watched soaps, rated R movies and listened to loud rock music. Many of those memories include Vonnie. Seeing her face brought back a flood of memories, then tears. But it was so exciting at the same time. Its hard after someone dies because all the friends in their life seem to go with them. I understand its awkward for people to keep in contact, I mean what do they say ? I get it. But they are missed.
          Today I get another request, this time from Elise's roomate when she passed away, Cheri. They were also very close friends who lived to gether since High school off and on as roommates. Cheri often came with when my sister would take me and my friends to concerts or I would spend days at their house dreaming I was a super cool girl on her own with two roommates. After my sister died she made an effort to take me places as Elsie would have, she even took me to see Metallica/Guns and Roses knowing that my sister would have totally done the same. The two of them had just taken my best friend and I to see Metallica less than a year before. After that Im not sure what happened, I imagine its just how time does. Creeping in and stealing away day afer day until you realize it has been years.
          So thats it. Is it some sort of sign? Is it just coincidence ? Is it my sister showing she is always near ? Is it a desperate need to want to know something significant from the beyond, to want to hold onto hope that they are lying in wait for you in Heaven? But then it couldnt be as in Heaven, because there would be no communicating with the living from what Im told. Then again, no one really knows for sure but God himself.ell that what I think anyway. I certainly dont know enough to speak on it, I only know that I hold on to that hope. Either way,sign or not. I am glad to see them both, happy, healthy, and not forgotten.

Fact: I am afraid I wont be able to do it

But, I am going to give it the old college try. College that is. And, this will be a second try. Not that I have ever gone before, but I did apply once a few years back. Unfortunately,  due to tax issues barring financial aid, and my own lack of  "capital" I was unable to enroll. So here I am again, closer than ever before. I have an AWARD on the horizon, the class is showing enrolled and the student ID is in the mail. The reality of the extra work is hitting me and I am now scared to death.
Couple reasons:
a. I wasnt that hot in high school. Let me rephrase-(I was totally HOT ,which was the issue) due to my vanity, partying ways, and boy vision, my grades lacked in a big way.
b. I tend to lose focus on things that dont capture my interest, for example I LOVE history! Could listen to someone lecture on it all day. But math? Not so much, I just cant latch on. The math teet just does not beckon me, therefor, I fail to thrive.
c. This is a problem because I would like to get an Accounting Degree.... Somebody call Alanis - is that considered Irony?
ALSO......
1. I have 4 kids and I work full time. My kids are already completly messy and totally exhaust me, how can I possibly add 2 classes and homework to this mix ?
2. I am not single but my husband works long hours and hardly ever helps around the house anymore leaving me absolutley frustrated and more exhausted.
3.I am lazy. I have said it before. I like to lay around the house, watch movies and vedge in my spare time. Sometimes I can be productive but for the most part I like to just be laaaaazy in my downtime.

So there you have it. I am afraid I wont be able to do it all. What if I have a nervous breakdown ? What if I have to repay the goverment for my grant? What if I am not smart enough ? What if my kids feel neglected?What if all the girls laugh, point, and throw pads at me in the shower? Oh wait, I am going online....but you get my point. I am in need of some prayer. If anyone who reads this has a line to God will you please ask him for some help for me?
I am telling myself it will be fine. I have it in me and must push through in order to obtain a better life for my family. I THINK I CAN. I have to, these 4 kids are going to need college pretty soon and Mama is gonna need a better paycheck. Pray me luck!!!

Fact: I find the Disney "vault" to be a dumbass concept

The fact is that my twins are now toddlers. Both of whom really enjoy cartoons.Which means this is a super fun time (because i love em too).  Time for me to bring out classics they are sure to love. So colorful, so imaginative, especially the ones you loved as a child. Right now they are hooked on Nemo. Its a bit crazy how much they love it. Then Monsters Inc. it really is too cute to see them get so scared and then laugh hysterically. So here I am thinking I gotta get more, stat. Heck, I can get a lot done around the house in 55 minutes! For sure they would LLLLLLLOVE The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, The Jungle Book, Snow White, etc. In the middle of making this list, I remember.
DAMN.
You can not just head out to your local store and pick up these movie favorites for your children. Noooo, because they are in the fabled Disney Vault. Alongside a cryogenically frozen Walt, sit our old faves waiting for the next big digitally remastered release. Seriously?!  My stepmother collected each one for years in their HUGE, plastic, vcr packaging. There value was sure to increase while they yellowed from the smoke in the home, taking up tons of shelving, not to mention causing quite the cluttered eye sore even if they were neatly displayed. Eventually these "collectors edition", money making , vhs behemoths, would soon be replaced by DVD. Foiling her whole plan. Now its Blue-Ray's turn and whats next? Perhaps flash drives, then come the micro-chips, then maybe a 10 year brain download? Where does it end?
Each time you open the damn vault, technology has completely bypassed this ridiculous system and you have to begin re-releasing each one in its new form. Its a bit non-sensical if you ask me.
Cant we just tear down the wall so I wont have to wait until my twins are 15 to show them what a dinglehopper is, or sing hakunamata with them ? I realize I can netflix the classics or borrow a VCR and find the smokey copies in a box somewhere, but  I would rather have free range access to run to the store and pick out my favorites when I want them! I have a dream. A dream that every toddler, baby & child get to see the Sleeping Beauty's, the Jungle animals, the Dwarfs, and Mermaids of Disney, on their time. No more having to wait for the netflix queue or a vault to open. No longer waiting 10 years for Pinochio to become a real boy again. C'mon Disney, OPEN UP !!!

Fact: I am Irish

I love that I am Irish, my parents even gave me a beautiful Irish Gaelic name :

colleen [ˈkɒliːn kɒˈliːn]n
1. an Irish word for girl
2. an Irish girl
[from Irish Gaelic cailín a girl, a young unmarried woman]

I wish I knew more of this Irish history, it is from my mothers side. Her Father (Grampa Jack) was born to Irish Immigrants. My Great Grandmother Johanna (my sisters name) migrated when she was young and his father did as well I belive but I dont know much about that. I found what I thought to be GG Johanna's record at Ellis Island on ancestry.com, it was so exciting to me! But then again, I LOVE history, always was my favorite subject. I wasnt sure of my Great Grandfathers first name but his last name was Ronayne. My mom thinks she may know where in Ireland they hailed from and hopes to one day go there and even maybe meet relatives, wouldnt that just be amazing? Though it brings to mind the Griswalds heading to see family in Europe and staying with the wrong people, could totally see that happening to us!
I pray she makes it there before she gets to old, I really do. Life is so short and I would hate for her to miss it. I'd really like for my sister and I to be there with her just to see her eyes light up at all the things she will encounter. Just another dream of mine. Cheers Grampa Jack !

An old Irish Proverb

May the Irish hills caress you

May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

May there always be work for your hands to do,

May your purse always hold a coin or two.

May the sun always shine warm on your windowpane,

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

May the hand of a friend always be near you,

And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

May those who love us love us.

And those that don't love us,

May God turn their hearts.

And if He doesn't turn their hearts,

May he turn their ankles,

So we'll know them by their limping.

Happy Saint Patricks Day !!!

Fact: Erma Bombeck kept it real

RIP Funny lady. (She passed away sometime ago, but its always nice to say rest in peace I think) I have always loved reading anything by Erma Bombeck. Her writings speak directly to my soul. I imagine she must have been a great friend and an amazing mother, not to mention a real hoot. I dream and aspire to be even a little bit like Erma. A truly fascinating lady.

Here are some popular quotes that are serious day brighteners from the late great Erma Bombeck.

• It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
• It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
• If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
• I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
• I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
• I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
• Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery
• My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
• My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
• No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
• People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
• Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
• There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
• There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
• A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
• Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
  
  You can enjoy reading more here

P.S. DONT FORGET TO LAUGH EVERYDAY !!!!!!

Happy Hump Day

Fact: You can eat gold

 And I plan to. This is on my list of "Most expensive things to buy if I ever have as much money as the Trumpster". This is said to be the most expensive Ice Cream Sundae in the world-verified by the Guiness book. The "Grand Opulence", served in Manhattan NY at a place called Serendipity 3. It will grace your pallete nicely at the price if $1000.

Facts of the sundae :

"5 scoops of the richest Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream infused with Madagascar vanilla and covered in 23K edible gold leaf" !!!! WHAT?!? You heard it right, EDIBLE GOLD. 

Then the sundae is drizzled with the world’s most expensive chocolate, Amedei Porceleana, and covered with chunks of rare Chuao chocolate, which is from cocoa beans harvested by the Caribbean Sea on Venezuela’s coast. The masterpiece is suffused with exotic candied fruits from Paris, gold dragets, truffles and Marzipan Cherries. It is topped with a tiny glass bowl of Grand Passion Caviar, an exclusive dessert caviar, made of salt-free American Golden caviar, known for its sparkling golden color. It’s sweetened and infused with fresh passion fruit, orange and Armagnac." CRAZY.

I am a brownie girl myself but this is a must try should I ever get to NY to dine with Jova & B. My husband and I talk about our outrageous plans for lotto winnings often. It is silly and we get some crazy ideas for sure, we also want to spread the wealth not just be crazy spenders only to end up like Hammer ! Either way, its fun to dream,  I have lots of dreaming going on in my head!

Other items on this list:

• Christian Louboutin Heels
• Tequila Ley .925
• One week stay at The Poseiden underwater Hotel
• One week stay on the Island belonging to Richard Branson
• Vip tix to see the Rolling Stones
• Plastic Surgery / Mommy Makeover for my self and sister if she wants
• 2 week recovery stay at Costa Rica recovery hotel Penthouse suite
• Cashmere swaeters in every color
• Custom made cute ASS jeans and new wardrobe for every season
• 69 Camaro and matching 2009 Camaro
• World trip vacation (as long as it takes) with family (sisters too) and tutors for the kids

Ahhhhh to dream.

Happy Hump Day !!!

Fact: I love FLAIR

Every 6 months or so I create a FLAIR board. This is my take on a "vision board". If you have read The Secret, or followed Tony Robbins you know that a vision board is a way of envisioning the things in life you want to come to fuititon. Instead of clipping from magazines and pasting on poster board , I take pictures from the Flair application on Facebook and make a collage of all the things I want, people I want to be like, places I want to go, things I want to learn, habits I want to start, etc. Here is my January 2010 Flair....

Do I have any right ?

Boy I want a lot of things. Do you ever feel so totally greedy and then really unworthy of it all ?So I made this little mosaic picture frame of things I am envisioning for my life at this time,stuff I want,need,or hope for. I also have some little pictures on my desk at work of things that I really want, that I am trying to apply "The Secret" to in vision board style if you will, and you know what? Some of it has actually happened! But is it only mere coincidence?

Do I have any right ?

I read a book after hearing so much about "The Secret" called "More to the Secret" it asks if it is possible to believe in both God and The Secret, pretty interesting stuff. The Bible does say "ask and you shall receive", but it also asks you to do so with prayer and supplication. Should I really do this for some perfume or a video console? I have no right ,right? Granted,one of the things I want to do is read my Bible faithfully and get back in sync with God.Is it only okay to be believing for those types of things? Another thing is a tattoo I want ,and then the the words "shame on you Colleen Ann!" come piercing thru my head in my mothers voice,"You have no right to ask for such things." But I do want them.

Im certainly not praying for a tattoo, but I still want one and I dont think Im an evil little sinner if I get one,but some people do. Some would say you cant do both, believe in God AND take part in Worldly activities. But I do. I both Love God and believe Jesus to be my personal Saviour as well as listen to Rock and Roll,drink alcohol from time to time, say the "F" word more than a lady should,etc.

Truthfully I know if it is His will, I shall receive the desires of my heart. But do I have any right to desire things not pleasing in his sight?

Back to School....

Oh how I want to go to college.

Not sure if this is realistic at this point in my life,but it is something I dream about. My parents werent the ones who really had a "plan" for us kids, Only one of us got braces, though we all 3 needed them. I even asked for them for Christmas 3 years straight! I now suspect a game of Rock,Paper,Scissors was played to determine who the lucky one would be.
I honestly do not want to fall into the same pattern with my own kids. My hopes are the usual-Dr.,Lawyer,Football Player,Model,Rocket Scientist. Really, I want them all to college. SO THEN...In order to afford college for 5 , I need to go myself in order to afford these tuitions coming up rather fast!!!
I've read that college graduates make like double that of a girl with diploma and I want to make double that.

I heart my job the most, its a great company really; but I want a CAREER! Even better if I can make my college useful there. I want to be official like the tiger lady in Baby Boom,take over the company like in 9 to 5 with Dolly Parton,or become a bigwig executive like Michael J Fox in Secret of my Success ! Okay all movies mentioned here are total 80's flicks so you may not have seen them,I suggest you add to your Netflix! All in all, I have really important things to say,moreso I am sure that were I "educated",people would listen.
I would love to make others get out a pen and paper and "take note". I could inspire a generation of girls to rise up and be next bra burners!! Put Victorias out of business ! Okay,maybe Im getting carried away, but wouldn't it have been fun to be a bra burner? I think so.
I have researched on-line college, and it actually now would be possible due to the graciousness of my husbands family providing the computer that cranks out these fantastic blogs.Imagine cranking out a diploma-YAY YAY!! But where would I fit in homework? Between work, kids,plays,violin practice,reading Dr Suess.,etc...Someone suggested I wait until my twins are in Kindergarten. Hmmmm...not a bad idea. BUT-This puts me in the Rodney Dangerfield category. Since my other children are so much older, How would they feel about me in class with them? Cheating off their work? Hanging about campus,woopin it up at all the ragin keg parties streaking through the quad up to the gymnasium? Oh uh ,nevermind...I will have 5 year olds.
But in all honesty, I cant wait that long. Though I would love to have had Rodney as my dad with that Hilarious Limo Driver and Phat a$$ dorm room, right? Who wouldnt! That is just champagne hopes and caviar dreams. I am confident that if it is part of the plan , than it will all work out. If not? Well, my poor children will be in the hundreds of thousands of students with 30 year loans to pay off after school and have quite the lesson learned -but Im trying!

Maybe I need a Laugh Track ?

That little cartoon makes a lot of sense. Maybe my hilarity would show more if I could insert laughter at the points in life I thought were funny?

I have often told people that if they could see what was going on in my head they would be doubled over with laughter. I am pretty good with words and conveying my point , but I seriously have these vivid pictures in my mind like a damn red viewfinder. My very overactive imagination makes things into real knee slappers.Clips from movies,tv shows especially SNL ,old commercials,songs,sound bytes,cartoons,and everyday life.It all converges in my head until I come upon a situation where something pops up to make this situation relate and become hilarious. Sad thing is because most people don't watch reruns with the passion I do, or really remember old tv shows and what not, therefore much of my humor goes to waste. I may get a sympathy laugh or a giggle but thats not enough, I want to show them!!! Could I get a viewfinder chip inserted and one of those levers on the side? Occasionally I will run across someone who totally gets my humor and its a huge relief because most times I feel like a huge Geek for remembering all this stuff, but when someone gets it? FIREWORKS! Oh Im so excited!!!! For example Im at a birthday party the other day and a mom says how she is a manager and on and on she seems to think of herself as pretty important is what Im getting so I ask her if she drives a Dodge Stratus? SHE DOES !!!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHA One other guy at the party gets it but he is the only one,I dont want this lady to feel like an idiot it just would have been great if SHE had gotten it. So I had to explain to her the SNL skit with Will Ferrell I am thinking of and she has seen it and now she gets it and finally we all laugh. But after all the explaining it seems pointless and I think I should have just kept my mouth shut.

Okay so I may be a total geek after all but at least I crack myself up right? And if I had a laugh track and a viewfinder many moments of silence could be avoided. Dont get me wrong, I do have a filter and when things are sad or serious I can usually turn off my "reel" (but not always and then I have to really try hard to erase ,shut off,control-alt-delete so I dont offend or burst out in a turets moment like Amy Poehler in Duece Bigal....here I go again.

FLAIR