Fact: I can not give birth to any more children

I am weirdly sad about this fact. I have 4 of the best kids anyone can ask for and I do not want or need anymore. They are my EVERYTHING.  Healthy, cute, sweet, funny, & smart. Words can not explain my love for them. I have been tremendously blessed. I simply can not imagine what those with infertility problems have to endure just to create one precious life.
My tubes were tied at my request when I delivered the Twins. Not just because while pregnant with the twins my stomach was comparable in size to an award winning pumpkin...(see me at 8 months in the picture above).  But also because raising 4 children takes some serious skill,  devotion,  meditation technique,  and most of all - major $dough$.  In these times of economic recovery recesssuckion,  much creative manuevering is needed to make it work to say the least. I wouldnt trade it for anything though! 

Whats got me down is the fact that I am 33 years old and done. I wonder, does anyone else get this feeling? A feeling of finality, or,  umm whats the word....I can't think of it,  basically, it brings mortality into light.  The fact that there are stages in life all leading up to the big FINALE. The reality setting in that I am not as young as I think I am. These wrinkles on my face are proving me wrong to the public and frankly,  its pissing me off,  I still feel 18 on the inside dangit !!
Obviously, the Finale could come at any time and leave no further stages to get to, I get that. I am very thankful for where I am, definetly hoping for many more stages in my life. It is a mourning of sorts. No more worrying about birth control, no more anymore doting on me, (one of the best parts of pregnancy),  no more maybe's or butterflys waiting to find out,  no more excuses for being a raving mad bitch,  no more pickles with ice cream,  no more hemorrhoids..well a girl can hope. You get the idea. So on to the next chapter I go, MILF here I come. LOL! Well certainly NOT Grandma, not like my childhood best friend who is one day older than me and set to be a Grandma in 6 months. OH HECK NO. One long chapter at a time please.