Friday, June 10, 2011

Fact: I am suspect of happily ever after

        All the crap in the news lately with Weinergate & Shwartzenagers love child makes me wonder, as I have in the past.... Is it possible for a man to “mate for life” ? Are we expecting to much in a man belive he can be as genuine as a Penguin?
I ask this question of men only because it seems on a whole statistically, that (most) women can in someway shut down that urge. Where men, statistically, are said to have a natural predisposition to spread their seed, be fruitful and multiply the earth, i.e.: “hump anything that moves”.
Clearly they are wired differently. So why is it Headline news? Why is everyone soooo surprised? They are men, it doesnt matter what kind of Job or status they have, status does not change animal instinct.
I don’t know if I am just bitter, well yeah I am bitter. But aside from that, I really just don’t know that I believe two people can stay together forever or that a man can truly be manogamous for more than a few years. That sounds bad, but let’s gets real. Here are some theories I have:

  • As kids, we grow up after 18-20 years and leave. We hope to never come back because our parents, though we love them dearly-drive us nucking futs.
  • As parents, we shoo our kids off after 18-20 years. Again, though we love them dearly and will miss them a lot, we are excited for them to begin living life anew.
  • As friends, we love to spend time together, maybe even take vacations together, but not live together forever.
  • As siblings, sure we shared a room for 15 years but doubtful it will ever happen again and that’s not a problem-in fact, our love for each other usually increases after we get our own space.
Why then, do we think, we can manage to be around the same person day after day, year after year, and expect never to tire of one another’s presence? Isn’t that just silly? Why do we expect so much from each other? Why are we so hard on each other???

I do think Love is very real and can be sustained, but it takes a lot of work!!! I am just not sure it’s truly realistic. Even in the Bible, mainly Old testament- though marriage was a sacred temple, many men had several wives. I do NOT dig polygamy, just stating fact. I also do not agree with affairs, they are extremely hurtful to families and VERY life changing to the one being affaired on. NOT OKAY, NOT FORGIVEN, EVER. If you want to try something new, close the door to the room you are in first please.

No one really talks about it, but I think many people married for a certain amount of time have felt the thought of wanting to explore life on your own again, try new things, see a new you, feel butterflies again like a 15 year old, and have no one to answer too, etc.

Then there is LOVE. Wanting to grow old with someone, wanting/needing companionship, dreaming of a “Notebook” style connection, being selfish, being role models, being pleasing in the eyes of God, etc.

It seems us women are more of the “one love” Lovers and men can break it into chambers-Wife Love, girlfriend lust, slutty girl fun…In my research on affairs a lot of men said they didn’t not love their wives, they just wanted something else too. One song I hate has this lyric “What’s an entrée without something on the side” gimme a fuckin break right? The whole song is pretty awful. Fact is and there are a lot of songs in the same vein if you look around for them, even OLD songs. Another testament to the fact it’s been happening for centuries and who’s to say it will ever be any different?

Disclaimer: These are just theories in MY head. Its not that I think Love can't last, just that most men cant stay monogamous is all. I don’t think it applies to all people, just about 75% of them. I happen to personally know 4 people whose husband have had a child with another women while they were with their significant other, that is a pretty big number on a statistics scale so I doubt im the only one who knows other like this and no, one of them is not the Terminator. Sure there are exceptions to any rule so please spare me your grandparents’ love story - mine are still together too love each other very much and I hope we can too !!

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