Fat Genes

I am hoping Science will one day soon find the "FAT" gene. I have known for a very long time that what makes us fat is a gene. Deep in our DNA lives a humongo Sherman Klump FAT GENE! Now some have a bigger gene than others, some genes don't kick in until after highschool,some not until a boy breaks your heart,etc. but its there, and you either have it or you dont. Sure,sure, sure.... yes lifestyle and food play a major part in this. BUT, I dont want to hear your healthy diet and excercise excuses,your fancy meal plans, or "cheat" day salad with no dressing for the other 6 day remedies. This is MY blog thank you very much, and I can cry if I want to.

I can say I have been able to maintain a low percentage on the obesity BMI score and havent had to live with being a regular shopper at Lane Giant. I have stayed borderline for many years, never able to get back to my 135 happy place but never going over the 200lb mark-until I was preg with Twins.Though I have seen the 200lb mark on a non-pregnant day and it was a take your breath away moment. People look at you differently, treat you differently and are always quick with the "you have such a pretty face" remarks and miracle diets of people they knew who lost tons of weight, trying to help but obviously looking at you as a fat blob who does nothing.It's really unfair, I have friends who have been big since birth trying EVERYTHING to be thin but nothing works. Society as a whole is so mean and unforgiving,it really is a shame. BUT....

NEWSFLASH: Just because Im bigger doesnt mean you are better!

Problem. With the inherited Fat Gene comes a Fat voice on your shoulder, a porky little devil. He whispers sweet nothings about cupcakes, frosting,and sugar cookies. Glistening melted Butter and salted noodles. Creme based sauces over fried meats partnered up with fluffy white potatoes of glory! Hills of chocolate,strawberry,and vanilla ice creams cascading over banana valleys with dollops of savory dream whip,topped with candied cherries - creatiing a virtual fatgirl fantasy land.

I have tried so hard to shut the fat voice down,starving it out eating nothing but meat ,cheese and eggs. Oh low carb diet you seem so easy-curse you!!!Lately people have told me how great I look, "oh you have lost so much weight you look fantastic"..Oh thanks I almost died in the hospital and couldn't eat for 2 weeks,totally did it for my figure.

Listen I like to be thin. As Oprah says "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" AMEN to that!! But its sooooo hard to tell this porky devil on my shoulder to shut the f*ck up! I try and try and he say's"Colleen, remember you are looking so great its okay to have a little candy bar".... and on we go, one turns into one a day and then I say screw it and eat whatever because I have already gained back 10 why not gain back all 25? I hate this mentality!! But I also hate people trying to help! I get so defensive, a 5 year olds "I can do it myself" attitude. Does that make any sense at all??? I am only hurting myself and yes,my kids who take on my bad habits. No excuses. But until science singles out the fat gene and provides Dr.'s to remove it, I have put up some motivational quotes around my desk at work, tried to tell myself to get out there and excercise every day even if Im just being silly and dancing, skipped a Krispy Kreme last friday, trying to save up for a Wii Fit to help the whole family and decided to start running at least 5 min of my 30 min walk on the treadmill to work my way up to a marathon.....I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.