"The New Black"

Its come to my attention that these days there is a trendy new saying. They are literally saying it everywhere, I even mentioned it in my last blog. The saying I am speaking of is :

"Insert word here, is "the New black". "

It seems everything is "the new black", has anyone else noticed this ? I personally have always been a huge fan of black new or old- my shoes,purses,jeans,shirts,panties,and well even my husband. So I have decided to find all the things I could that are or could be "the new black". Its become a touch annoying if you ask me. Feel free to comment back and tell me if I may have missed something or your thoughts?

My list so far:

1.The Recession/Economy --- uuughh yeah we are all affected AND IT SUCKS. But come on, using it as an excuse to get out of a party or mowing the lawn? Or how about Serranos spicing up the free bean dip to such an alarming rate to keep you from asking for seconds ! Thats just ridiculous.(Could also be genius)

2.Reality "LOVE" horror train wreck shows on VH1 --- Okay so I finally got over the fact that MTV is no longer and will never again be "Music Television" but VH1 was still doing its part to not let reality kill the video star, until the Flavor of Love shook it to its very core. If I see another -Flavor Brett Micheals New York Tila Tequila bi sexual twins on a bus rockin anything in the next century, it will be too soon.

3.Barack Obama-His dog has a book deal did you know this? A Chia head-seriously? A rap song, The Tonight Show, talking about Jessica Simpson's mom jeans. I like Barack but I think I hear Joe the Plumber flushing his head in the toilet...

4.Coach Purses -- You drive a total beater and you shop at Wal-Mart. But you have Designers dripping off you, the nicest set of finger nails, hair highlighted ever so perfectly, a Myspace page with every weekends pictures of you-drink in hand, at all the trendiest spots and of course the token "coach handbag" Nope, No one thinks your fake.

Oh, and who's watching your children?!!!

5.Twittering,Facebook,MySpace,Blogging --- WTF ? I am on Facebook and I do love to Blog so I am not immune-that is FO SHO !!

6.TEXT Talk--- Yeah like I just did above. OMG I LMAO, IDK my BFF Jill... Uggh I admit Im on the band wagon and half the time I dont know what Im saying, Im just desperately trying to be cool.

7.Celebrities. ---Everything about them... and the bloggers that name themselves after them and become famous-"Perez" I guess if I was smart I could do that too and make a mint off these blogs huh? Maybe call me "Brattney Sparez" let see what happens.

Why name their kids after fruits,cereals,prescriptions,Alice in Wonderland...Give me a break !

Why cry that the Paps follow your every move and tell tons of lies, blah blah blah but never boycott them with all your power ? Fur you have no problem getting naked for but to ask your fans to stop buying the trash that is making you sooo miserable would be crazy wouldnt it ?

8.BRO____ --- Brosef,Brocal, Broness,Dont tase me Bro and yes Bromance. Bromance kicked this little three letter phrase starter over the line. By far, one of the most idiotic words I have ever encountered. What guy would really want to say he was in a "Bromance" with another guy that doesnt share an affinity for rainbows? Enough said.

9.Skinny Jeans --- Gag me with a fork someone-please?! Dye your hair black,part it all to one side, stop eating, start cutting yourelf and start listening to the worst music ever. Please dont forget your 5 year old little sisters jeans, because they make you 16 year old boys look so ORIGINAL, and thats what you were going for right? To express yourself as a leader following your own path , thats what we thought. Wait...

10.Twins --- How is it that so many people have been pregnant with twins in the last few years?Including myself!!!??? Is it in the Water? Are uteruses becoming super strength egg splitting machines? And is the next person who tells me " Oh you have two? At least its not eight!"Going to get punched square in the face-Ummm YES !

11. Rockstars --- Everyone wants to be a rockstar.Again this includes me, but in my defense. Ive always wanted to be a rockstar-I have the pictures to prove it with my first Bass guitar at 12,1st concert Motley Crue, 2nd Metallica. I also happen to Love and appreciate all Rock and Roll,Metal,Punk,Glam Rock,Scaw,Rockabilly,80's hair bands,50's,60's,& 70's classics,and more. But teenagers wearing Pink Floyd ,AC/DC,Metallica,Ramones,Misfits,etc. t-shirts and have no idea who or what they are representing with a pair of Skull and Cross bone Chuck Taylors and uuuughh skinny jeans-well they are just not cool at all! (unless there parents have included them in some rock appreciation sessions as I have for my kids like Jack Black in School of Rock.) Then MAYBE, but seriously- putting a skull and crossbones on everything you own does not make you kickass nor a rockstar.

12.ED Hardy Gear --- Every clubgoing idiot seems to own an Ed Hardy T-Shirt. Some even go for the whole enchilada withthe Ed Hardy glasses and Ed Hardy converse. As my pal Tye has observed that even in Florida they seem to have "Ed Hardy T-Shirt Night" at local bars, Scottsdale, AZ and Tampa,FL arent too far apart it seems. These folks are the coolest, can't you tell? Its usually the same ones , those 40 something that are trying way to hard to re-capture their youth and hopefully a dumb blonde or the 20 something that is also trying just as hard, they all look equally desperate.

13. Going Green---Dont forget to buy that new $800 lightbulb that is going to save the planet for your grandchildren! SIDENOTE: Why are there not solar panels on every building in Phoenix Arizona ? Why is Arizona not "The Sunshine State"? Seriously our one state could literally save millions with solar power and could have been since the invention of it, but just barely they are talking about it-is that weird to anyone other than me? Also we use more water than it seems anywhere else and we have less of it than anyone else- though we have no drought plan or harsh water restricitons like they do in states that are flooding yearly and have so many rivers and lake.WTF ?

14. Being Gay--- I am all for do what you like, none of my business. BUT my kids coming home from Junior High with pals that are gay? That's just something I wasnt prepared for I guess, and I really dont have much to say as I dont think Im qualified to get into this debate . However, I dont think it should be first and foremost on a 7th graders mind,call me crazy .Maybe all the "coolness" of bi-sexuality on MTV-VHI, etc has something to do with it?

15.Organic Food--- This just in: Whole Foods saves the Planet!!! Really? So barley,wheatgrass and an organic carrot salad is the answer to every ailment known to man. While I think eating healthy is a smart idea for the masses I think some have gone to far. Does a whole wheat bun milled on a pesticide free, open range farm in Connecticut on your whopper really make a difference in the end for those arteries of yours? Come on now.

16. Bumped up ratty ponytails /Bobby pin mania---UGGH, soooo over this trend.Do 80 Bobby pins holding up your ratty hair really make a guy want to swoop right in and carry you over the threshhold? Doubtful. Maybe the reason there are so many single little ponytailed hoodrats at the clubs in Scottsdale or maybe Arizona is just filled to the brim with hoodrats? (more likely actually)

Oh thats enough for me. I could go on all year !!! Even Wikipedia has a meaning and a list if you care for more information on things that are the new black. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_new_black