My kids and I are flipping through the new BIG TOY BOOK from TOYS R' US and we come across this new holiday treat!
Hasbro has brought back the OUIJA board in stylish new colors just for girls and just in time for Jesus birthday! Boy,what will they think of next? Perhaps the Quran covered in glitter with its very own muslim barbie doll and variety of sparkly berkas ! Or Paranormal Polly Pocket with "spirit friends"? This reminds me of a favorite SNL skit of mine with Dan Akroyd-Consumer Probe ,where he showed off his line of best selling toys like-
"Bag O Broken Glass","Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing set" and of course "Johnny Switchblade doll-Adventure Punk with 2 real blades that pop out of his sides. Safe because each toy comes with a warning that says "Kid ,Be careful"
For now though all the girls can begin summoning the cemeterial masses for yes or no questions burning in their little brains. Here I thought the old Magic 8 ball sufficed. No, now you can be excited for whats to come from this magical gateway Christmas gift. Just think of the Wiccan rituals of wonderment! Sayonces, Spells, glorious songbird like chants, all the extra candles you'll have around for the next power outage? Your young daughters twisting their hair into dreadlocks, dancing about in circles donning long tye-dyed skirts ,velvet shirts,oversized silver rings with moons /stars and lockets of love potions-resembling 70's-esque Stevie Nicks.
Their first job not at the mall as you had once thought, but at the Renaissance festival! Serving turkey legs with Steins eventually moving up the ladder to be the resident Henna artist or palm reader. Then bringing home the boy who tosses the fire sticks and cleans the jousting pen, only to announce they have fallen in love and will now be traveling nomads with the Renaissance cross country, she will be learning to play the Clavichord in the carnie band "Gypsie Love". Ahhh yes these things Im sure are just the tip of the iceberg, but before she goes off with the renaissance circus folk dont let her forget her pink Christmas Ouija board, the reason for it all !!
4 comments:
hahaha Gypsies!!!! I knew it I was thinking of that work at the same time! LOL! Dessi would love it :D. As for the Ouija board...I've always wanted to have one and of course I don't think it ever worked...but the idea that the Ouija board is now catered to little girls with their love of pink and purple is crazy! AND for a Christmas gift even more insane.
Hey nice glitter background!!!
It's just you. We Masons have no problem with the Ouija (or OJ for that matter). It's nice here in bizarro world! You should come visit some time. Although I shouldn't really say it's nice. That would mean it's bad, unless I'm being ironic, which isn't a characteristic of us Masons. We believe in being straight-forward (which actually means crooked-backward here in bizarro world). SEE WHAT I MEAN?!!! It's a GREAT place to live!
you crack me up!! i remember my mom hated that my friends would sneak the ouija board into my bday parties...one year my brother and sister played a horrible trick on myself and my 12 lil pals at my house...let's just say I have NEVER forgave them for scaring the living bejeezies out of me...
Post a Comment